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The endless and profound agony of Souki the mascot

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    In a Coolopolis poll Souki the Mascot has been voted Montreal's most tragic character, narrowly edging out Buzz Buerling, Baldy Northcott and Pepe Frias.
   And the voters are profoundly right.
   The life of our city's only ambulatory bobblehead makes that of Amy Winehouse look like Julie Andrews.
   There are many misconceptions about the intrinsically Montreal mascot whose head was part Buckminster Fuller's geodesic dome, part snowman and a groundbreaking forerunner for Caillou the cartoon chemo kid.
   He did not get his first game action at Jarry Park, as is sometimes suggested.
   So the old rumour of his being caught selling weed to kids in the pool behind the fence at Jarry Park or being fired after being orally pleasured in the bushes behind that stadium are patently untrue.
   Souki saw his only action in 1978 when the 'Pos inhabited the Olympic Stadium.
   He was a ripoff of Mr. Met, which had been discontinued a couple of years earlier, another baseball-headed mascot with a bad milliner.
   Mr. Met was brought back in 1994 but Souki was never allowed to rise again.
   The earless Souki had a drawer knob-nose, vaginal-shaped arm holes and dots for eyes.
  Some say that Souki had antenna but we see no proof of that.
  Others claim that he scared children but that seems unlikely, as round shapes have a calming effect on people and Montreal kids are mentally tough like no others.
  Souki's most famous out-of-stadium event when he was on hand for a fundraiser for the MSO on August 11, 1978 which was attended by Warren Cromartie and several other Expos.
   We believe, however that Souki's difficult skeletal structure might have made it difficult for him to get through doorways or travel in taxis.
  Souki was replaced by Youppi, a furry ripoff of the Phillie Phanatic, who later went on to work for the Canadiens.

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